never publish. There have been many of these posts deleted over the last four and a half years- Bones was a lot braver than me about publishing stuff when her Mum died. NB Ellen have just lost their lovely dog Maggie. Their hearts are broken.
We do, however, adjust eventually although it's difficult to believe that that can ever be at the time. So now I'm going to say this and press the publish button (I think).
When you lose a pet you lose every part of your daily routine - you lose the "morning boys" here are the biscuits and the afternoon cuddles and the visits to neighbours, and the sheer enchantment and pride that you enjoy when other people engage with them. They are part of every minute of your every waking day-it hurts when you lose them - it really hurts. You keep putting out one too many dinners and wondering why you fill the water bowl only half as often.
When you lose your mum it's very different although my Mum was not part of my daily routine and engagement and, sometimes, I didn't want to go back and visit because something exciting was happening elsewhere on the river; so that loss is only slowly coming on board. I keep wanting to ring her and she's not there. I wanted to tell her what happened at the hospital today and she's not there.
If you've never loved a dog or cat and lost it you won't understand where I and NB Ellen are coming from.
Anyone that engages your love leaves you devastated when they go
We do, however, adjust eventually although it's difficult to believe that that can ever be at the time. So now I'm going to say this and press the publish button (I think).
When you lose a pet you lose every part of your daily routine - you lose the "morning boys" here are the biscuits and the afternoon cuddles and the visits to neighbours, and the sheer enchantment and pride that you enjoy when other people engage with them. They are part of every minute of your every waking day-it hurts when you lose them - it really hurts. You keep putting out one too many dinners and wondering why you fill the water bowl only half as often.
When you lose your mum it's very different although my Mum was not part of my daily routine and engagement and, sometimes, I didn't want to go back and visit because something exciting was happening elsewhere on the river; so that loss is only slowly coming on board. I keep wanting to ring her and she's not there. I wanted to tell her what happened at the hospital today and she's not there.
If you've never loved a dog or cat and lost it you won't understand where I and NB Ellen are coming from.
Anyone that engages your love leaves you devastated when they go
I'm glad that you published, although nb Ellen's post was so very very sad.
ReplyDeleteWe feel for anyone's pain - whether from loss of a person or a pet....
Sue, nb Indigo Dream
I'm not sure that I expressed myself very well Sue, but when you give your heart....
DeleteThinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm Ok, it's NB Ellen's crew that are hurting
DeleteWhen my dad dies I wrote it but never pressed the publish button, he is still on the computer.
ReplyDeleteBrian
Brian maybe you should. The blogs I have in draft are many, but pushing that 'publish' button tonight made me feel very exposed. 'd like to hear what you wrote to your Dad
DeleteYou know what, Gill? It SO, SO helps when you know that other people don't just think you're stupid but understand your pain and have similar pain of their own. My mum died 18 months ago and, although we didn't always see eye-to-eye, I think about her and miss her every single day. It did start to get a bit easier after a full year had passed. I so know how you are feeing. Your comments made me cry - again!! But, thank you for baring your soul. You are such a lovely person! xxoo
ReplyDeleteOh Angela; grief is a terrible thing, but we all know it does get better - when you lose a pet you lose someone that is part of every minute of your day. You wake in the morning and, for a split second, everything is OK. Then reality comes back and that dreadful sick empty feeling hits your tummy. For the lucky majority of us - Mum's and pets give us the only unconditional love we ever get. Take care xxx
ReplyDeleteJill, It is only right that you feel the loss, it is a right response and a part of your love for the one who is no longer here with you.
ReplyDeleteWe often look at each other and say 'wish we could tell Dad about that' over a year after Ian's dad died.
Thoughts and prayers with you and all those who struggle with loss.
Karen x
I didn't mean it to be about me - I was just trying to respond to NB Ellen's situation and explain how difficult it was to lose someone that lives with you. Your prayers are, however, cherished
DeleteHi Jill and Graham
ReplyDeleteOur thoughts are with you. When my Dad passed away in March I had to keep myself thinking that it was better for him and not me. Time does help heal the pain and we all deal with it in our own way.
Just remember the good times.
Hello you two. Nice to hear from you - any chance of you coming back for a bit? xx
Delete