Monday, 11 January 2010

3 Vans, 3 men, 3 Bollards, 3 Loads of B******s

What are BW complaining about not having enough money to upkeep the system, they can afford to send three men in 3 different vans to put in 3 bollards that no one wants nor needs. This is 2010 madness. BW need to put there middle management in order get them up to date with how many men it needs to change a light bulb etc... Get your act together BW.


  1. You really dont understand this stuff do you.

    The first van/man was on earlies. He arrived to install the bollards.

    The second van/man was on days. He arrived to act as safety man for van/man No1 who in turn was waiting for van/man No3 to take over later in the day.

    The third van/man was on standby for when the first van/man reached his EU working quota or got tired prolly around about the start of the second bollard.

    This management technique is known as the Over-Allocation Safety System (O-ASS for short).

    Having arrived on the job at separate times it is necessary for there to be a strategy meeting to bring everyone up to speed on the progress so far and decide how to proceed.

    The outcome is always the same. While van/man No1 finishes off No1 bollard van/man No3 sets to on bollard No2. Mean while van/man NO2 is now acting as safety man for two men instaed of one and has twice as much nothing to do.

    While van/man No1 amd van/man No3 get on with their work van/man No2 is getting bored so after making tea for van/man no1(white one sugar) and coffee for van/man No3 (black 2 sugars) van/man No2 decides to improve his canalside skills and train himself as a bollard installer.

    He does this by observing van/man No1 and van/man No2. This not only stops him from pickins his nose in public but adds a new 'do' to his CV so he is less likely to be made redundant at the net set of cutbacks at the yard.

    ERGO The work is divided up so they can all stack early and go to the pub.

    Please pay attention it really is so simple

    This production was sent to you by 'Man in a van' productions.

    Directed by Maffi
    Prouduced by Maffi
    Typed by yes you've guessed it Maffi

    Now can someone tell me where my meds are?

  2. Doh, why didn't I think of that,
    cheers Maffi.